May! How the hell is it May?!
Life has got busy, but I’m not complaining. Work is now in full swing and I’m currently juggling 140 vacant roles, approximately 70 hiring managers who want the perfect candidate yesterday and about 20 agencies who like to cheat the system, and clearly enjoy a bollocking from me (love those days!). I am absolutely loving the role though and working within Investment Banking and love the challenge of managing the whole process.
I managed to squeeze in a weekend away at Easter to hit up the vibrant and exciting Marrakech. I absolutely loved everything about it – the atmosphere, the landscape, the people (so friendly!) and the bartering for items you don’t really need but just get so sucked in with the excitement of getting a good price that you have to then lug home way too much Moroccan oil, ceramics and mint tea.
About a month ago I also delved back into the online dating/app world and signed up to Happn. I had very little expectations that I would meet someone, especially after my attempt at Tinder (which resulted in a man who had a fascination for girl / horse action – whole other blog post), but I was very pleasantly surprised! It only took one man and he’s completely blown me away. I met him for a drink three weeks ago, and it’s been a whirlwind romance ever since. We’ve had 10 dates in three weeks, and I’m not sick of him – quite the opposite really, I’m always excited to see him again. Our dates have been original, funny, unexpected and amazing all rolled into one. I’ve talked to my best friends about him and they’re all extremely happy for me and keen to meet my “dirty little secret”, as they call him. Right now though it’s so easy, and I’m enjoying having him to myself. Plus I keep reminding myself it’s only been three weeks, there is absolutely no rush. Besides, as soon as they all meet him and want to hang out it will cut into our afternoons of Prosecco and afternoon delight – and I am not keen to give that up any time soon!
If a colleague tells you about a time he shagged a girl on his desk and that it takes the right type of girl to bring it out in him, is that general chit chat or an invitation?
It’s week three in my new role, as an onsite recruiter at a global top tier investment bank, and I’m absolutely loving it. We’ve made it past the awkward beginnings where everyone on the team is on their best behaviour and completely PC so as not to upset or shock the newcomer, to now everyone feeling relaxed and having some great bouts of banter. I’m not going to lie, in the first week when my team would only discuss work topics with me, never veering to a topic that could arouse conflict or have me gasp in horror, I was a tad nervous that they’d be scared of the real , vocal, banter-Queen I am. Now there are no topics of discussion ruled off the table. For instance, yesterday, over Monday’s morning coffee we had an in-depth discussion over one of the girl’s first experience at colonic irrigation. She’d had it done on Sunday and absolutely raved to make us all question why we’d waited so long to experience the extreme flush, forever known on my team as “the procedure”.
The second development since I started is my new office crush. As per the title, it definitely was inevitable. The number of good looking men in sharp suits in this place is insane! You can’t sneak off to the bathroom to check your hair and make up after coming in from the rain without bumping into at least five. And that’s just on my floor! Regardless of the hundreds of men in this building, I’m currently keen on just one. Which is silly because I don’t even know if he’s single – really I should spread the affection to make for better odds? There’s still time.
Anyway, this one. He works in recruitment like me, but a different team at the other end of the floor – so it’s not too close to home. One of the girls on my team and I have nicknamed him “ginger” due to his ginger beard – highly original, I know. She and I have tasked ourselves with a plan; she is going to suss his relationship status while I actually start conversing with him.
I made big head way yesterday. I walked past him from the cafe to our security pass locked doors, where he followed behind. I swiped my pass on the reader and opened the door, he said “thank you” and I turned and smiled and said “no worries”. Our first conversation. We’re moving mountains here.
I walked in the door tonight after my first week in my new role at a top tier global investment bank, turned on all the lights as it was pitch black and felt relieved when the sense of warmth from the automatic heating waved over me. I tied my hair atop my head and ditched my office attire for some trackies and a baggy top. Next I popped some kale in the oven to slowly dry out for a Friday night ‘treat’. Then I scraped off my society face paint and gave my face a tingly scrub in the flavour of apricot, by St Ives. Followed up by a good dosing of jojoba oil lathered all over my clean skin, and my pair of plush slippers to keep my feet warm.
I plopped myself on the couch, and I have not moved. Except to save my kale chips from becoming crumbs in the oven.
This morning I turned up to work with a layer of my new Clinique Chubby Stick in Super Strawberry. People commented. Clearly I’ve been looking bloody awful before and no-one wanted to say anything, but make a bit of effort? And they jump all over it!
My boss: “Bron, are you wearing lipstick? I like it. It suits you.”
Male colleague, following on from my boss: “Do you have a male candidate meeting today?”
It’s like they know…
And for the record, I don’t. Also, the dream is over for the hot Sydney candidate – after a few back and forward messages on the weekend I discovered he has a girlfriend. On to the next!
I meet hot candidates, weekly. We all know sex sells, even in finance. So I tend to pre-screen my candidates to see how much of an easy sell they will be.
Tonight’s candidate had all his social network profiles well hidden or photo-free. So I thought nothing of it and booked him in for a meeting anyway.
When I walked into the meeting room I thought, you’re cute, I like your beard. But then he CHARMED me with his bloody Australian charm and his sexy ginger (I blame Ed Sheeran for my recent ginger fascination) beard. I have heard people in London remark on the Kiwi and Aussie charm. Being a Kiwi myself I never really thought much of it and always found the British accent much sexier.
But this one. His Aussie accent was understated, with the odd hint of a strong ‘a’. He grinned at me when I talked through his CV. He charmed me telling me stories of his time working as a trader in Sydney. He winked at me when I said my company has an office in Sydney and that it is my back up plan for if I ever get sick of London.
After running way over time, to wrap up our meeting I mentioned we would be having Christmas drinks for our temporary candidates next month and that he must come. Out loud I made a mental note “oh, I must send those invites tomorrow”.
“Don’t worry” he said, “I’ll remind you”.
He’s on a two year visa.
I’m going to get fired.
This weekend my fellow recruitment colleagues and myself are off to the classiest spot in Spain: Benidorm.
To be fair, we are staying at a five star resort, which they state is Alicante, but all I think of is flash backs to that awful British TV show.
At first I was all nervous about the whole wearing your swimming costume in front of your work colleagues – but then I decided I did not care. My tan has already faded from summer, I’m basically translucent, and I’ve not managed to lose any of the weight I had planned on ridding myself of months ago.
It’s all caught up with me far too quickly and I am completely unprepared. Instead I plan to go and hangout with my team, drink all the free booze, eat the free food and simply enjoy the free holiday my company are giving me – this never happened in New Zealand!
The unfortunate thing is that we’re only there two nights, so it’s highly unlikely I will get the summer tan I’m craving that was lost many months before. Sadly this body takes DAYS to gain a sun-kissed glow.
But secretly I’m dreaming of winter; the cool weather, the amazing Christmas atmosphere, the mulled cider and wine – I can not wait for it to arrive!
During a conversation in the office with the guys in my team, I called across the office;
“Do you wanna see my texts?“.
Cue much laughter from the guys.
Apparently, in the Kiwi accent the ‘e’ changes to an ‘i’ and the whole word changes…