If a colleague tells you about a time he shagged a girl on his desk and that it takes the right type of girl to bring it out in him, is that general chit chat or an invitation?
It’s week three in my new role, as an onsite recruiter at a global top tier investment bank, and I’m absolutely loving it. We’ve made it past the awkward beginnings where everyone on the team is on their best behaviour and completely PC so as not to upset or shock the newcomer, to now everyone feeling relaxed and having some great bouts of banter. I’m not going to lie, in the first week when my team would only discuss work topics with me, never veering to a topic that could arouse conflict or have me gasp in horror, I was a tad nervous that they’d be scared of the real , vocal, banter-Queen I am. Now there are no topics of discussion ruled off the table. For instance, yesterday, over Monday’s morning coffee we had an in-depth discussion over one of the girl’s first experience at colonic irrigation. She’d had it done on Sunday and absolutely raved to make us all question why we’d waited so long to experience the extreme flush, forever known on my team as “the procedure”.
The second development since I started is my new office crush. As per the title, it definitely was inevitable. The number of good looking men in sharp suits in this place is insane! You can’t sneak off to the bathroom to check your hair and make up after coming in from the rain without bumping into at least five. And that’s just on my floor! Regardless of the hundreds of men in this building, I’m currently keen on just one. Which is silly because I don’t even know if he’s single – really I should spread the affection to make for better odds? There’s still time.
Anyway, this one. He works in recruitment like me, but a different team at the other end of the floor – so it’s not too close to home. One of the girls on my team and I have nicknamed him “ginger” due to his ginger beard – highly original, I know. She and I have tasked ourselves with a plan; she is going to suss his relationship status while I actually start conversing with him.
I made big head way yesterday. I walked past him from the cafe to our security pass locked doors, where he followed behind. I swiped my pass on the reader and opened the door, he said “thank you” and I turned and smiled and said “no worries”. Our first conversation. We’re moving mountains here.